Thursday, July 17, 2014

No Drama, No Gossip, No Stress, No Problem

I’ve been purging this year. Purging as much as possible. I moved for the 7th time in four years in the spring [somanylongstories], and that brought even more purging of material things that held meaning at one time, with certain connotations, and it was simply time to be rid of them altogether. My navy blue, velvety sectional couch included. Sad face.

Photos, letters, mementos, and boxes upon boxes of crafting supplies that I splurged on when Pinterest hit the scene in 2010. I was inspired, what can I say. I also donated a few blouses I’ve had since college. Yep, it was time for me to break up my long-term relationship with Old Navy circa 2002, too.

This all falls in line with what I’ve shared about here, I’ve been actively engaged in an internal, spiritual cleanse. Purging old mental and emotional habits like self-doubt and fear, breaking down blockades to a peaceful spirit, and addressing my severe allergy to vulnerability.

Slowly, things are coming together. Newness is emerging – and it’s incredible. 
Journeys to wholeness are rarely easy..... and never short.

Part of this whole process has recently resulted in the ending of some friendships and the purging of what came along with them – drama, gossip, and unnecessary stress. My heart is both sad and relieved to have these changes, honestly. I believe in having the best possible relationships with all people... AND sometimes the best possible status of a relationship is “not close.”

There can be any number of reasons for this and it doesn’t mean one or the other persons involved are bad people. Similar to romantic relationships, sometimes the chemistry between two people just doesn’t work. We want different things and we have different values and expectations.

That’s okay.
Everyone is entitled to be as they are.
But we don’t have to be close to all people as they are if it’s not good for us.

I’m processing through some of that and it still carries a strong energy of awkwardness for me. However, it feels pretty great to have freedom from high-drama, gossip and judgment, unattainable expectations, complaining, codependency, passive-aggressive behavior, and the stress all of that brings. Those aren’t things that I engage in and they don’t work for me in any sort of relationship. That’s my line in the sand.

And to be 100% honest, people have “broken up” with me in several friendships in the past because I behaved in some of those unsavory ways. They had a right to do so. I commend them for their choice and integrity.  

It was through some of those painful friend-break-ups that helped me learn about what I wanted my own boundaries to look like. I don’t do it all perfectly today but I do a pretty kickass job of it.

If we only have one, precious chance to live the life we have, it might as well be the one we want. Purge the clutter... the head chatter... the fears... the things holding you back from really being who you are. Get rid of anything that doesn't work for you. Maybe hold on to your blue sectional couch if you can, though.

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